Stupid Fish

Today I shelled out $93 to see a gastroenterologist. I do not have health insurance.  Driving North on I25 to Briargate was my first hint that this would be a fancy smancy office. The word Aspen in the name of the Health Center was a second.  And my guess was right. Not only was there a giant salt water aquarium encased in a beautiful rock wall, but it had two big screen  tvs and a huge fireplace that should have been lit since it was a snowy morning. Of course the tv channel was set on trashy FOX.  The other on Nick.

I was already feeling pretty irritated because I had to shell out the $93 and drive up north on a slushy highway.  Plus, this is the 3rd month of feeling crappy and I’ve had lots of tests that have ended with answers but not enough to alleviate my symptoms.

Irritability meter goes up several notches when the nurse brings in a teency little paper square with a hole in it that’s supposed to go over my head and cover my huge everything! And another rectangle paper “blanket” that I tore a hole in the minute I tried to spread it over the rest of my huge everything! I’m not that modest but give me a break. The fish in the tank outside in the waiting room were warmer and appeared more dignified than I. Irritability meter up another notch…Doctor does not knock before he comes in and fish in the tank and people in the fancy smancy nurses area got blinded by my not so small shiney butt! I’m usually pretty pleasant to get along with, however, I told both the Dr. and Nurse that I’ve been in some fancy Dr.’s offices all over the US and this one is the smanciest. The Dr. agreed, “yes this is quite the fancy office.” Then I said, so why can’t you afford cloth gowns and sheets.  I said, really. He said this is a satelite office he travels to and he has to bring the paper ones from other office….Oh well. I guess that’s a good reason. I can’t really picture the doc carrying a laundry bag to his Jaq and back to his home office.

Exam proceeds.  Lots of pressing and tapping and other stuff I’ll spare you.  Put on my clothes….Dr. joked about me just leaving the paper stuff on the table unless I want it….haha. Bottom line: Another test ordered. Price is $2400. Told him not in my budget (My referral Dr. works in my indigent clinic.) Dr. had caring eye to eye contact as he shook my hand goodbye.

Bathroom. Tears. Wish to thumb my nose at the fat warm fish on my way to elevator, but didn’t. Frustrated, angry, sad, sore, mostly frustrated.  $2,400. No full time job.  No insurance. No test. No treatment.  Only in America.

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