Loving and Responsible Pet Owner

Because I am a loving and responsible pet owner, I only cuss and grumble minimally under my breath, while standing in my pj’s and slippers in a down coat with a zipper that doesn’t work, at “even too early in the a.m. for God,” in 18 degrees and snow, while Peanut sniffs EVERY single, minute, blade of grass and dead vegetation before picking just the right one before, “doin his thing.”